funny jokes in english

Funny Jokes

Funny Jokes

A man puts a notice in front of his residence:
FOR SALE Computer and Encyclopedia both in good condition.
Reason for selling: No longer needed.
Got married.
Wife knows EVERYTHING … with backup disk called “Mother In Law”
As a old man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him, “darling, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!”

“It’s not just one car,” said the old man, “It’s hundreds of them!”

Kevin gets drunk and comes home late.
To avoid confrontation with his dad he quietly sits and starts working with his laptop.
Dad: Are you drunk?
Kevin: No
Dad: Then what are you doing with my briefcase?
Kevin: :-(!!!
A little boy was in a bus eating a chocolate,
then he took another one and then another…..
A man next to him said, ” Do you know that too much of it will damage your teeth”
The boy replied, “My grandfather lived for 132 years”
The man asked, “Was it because of eating chocolate?”
The boy replied,”No, he was always minding his own business!!”
2Day is my B’day…
My parents, wife, kids didn’t wish me…
I went to work, Even my colleagues didn’t wish..
As I entered my cabin my Secretary said, Happy Birthday Boss,
I felt special..She asked me for lunch…
After lunch, she invited me to her apartment, we went there..
She said, Do you mind If I go into the bedroom for a minute?”
Ok, I said..
She came out 5 minutes later….
with a cake n My wife, parents, kids, friends and colleagues.
Screaming, SURPRISE…………..

and I was waiting on the Sofa……

NAKED.!!.'(

 

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